Talked with my old teacher over break. He said what you take out of college is what you put in. It seems like advice I should have heard before. He was surprised I didn't. So, looking at it with this new lens, I've put in very little. And though I have learned a lot, it is not worth the money if I don't do more. I'm not sure what all I should do differently, though. In life we often have to do things that just are not our bag. I need to make more connections here. I need to find things to occupy me other than school. I need to capitalize more on classes I like, like Creative Acts. Somehow. I need to start reading again. I need to keep writing.
In ten hours this class will be done forever and I'll have to go on to the next thing. I don't like that. I think there is a better way. The other day I reinvented the Zamboni. I think smaller ice rinks are wasting money. What the fuck is wrong with me. I don't even skate.
Bureaucracy here is the worst. The absolute worst. Sometimes it gets me so mad I walk out of buildings imagining them explode behind me. But that wouldn't solve anything. That would make it all stronger. They'd take more from us all to build it up bigger and better. They'd replace the toilet paper with iPads. Meanwhile ten thousand kids will graduate with a bonafide dee-plo-ma and the banks coming at them like dogs.
The other day I met a guy who's dad is the vice president of Comcast. He says he has a card in his wallet that he can show the police is they ever pull him over and they will let him go. Now tell me we don't live in an Orwellian dystopia.
Deeley said he's bringing snacks for the last class. Maybe I'll buy some chips or something.
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